“If someone chooses to share feedback, listen to understand the person, not the work. People will tell you more about themselves than about the art when giving feedback. We each see a unique world.”
– Rick Rubin
The quote by one of the #goodread I had in past, “The Creative Act : a Way of being”, Rick Rubin emphasizes the importance of empathy and understanding in the feedback process. When someone offers feedback, it’s easy to focus solely on the work at hand—be it a piece of art, music, or writing. However, Rubin suggests that the real value lies in understanding the individual behind the feedback. Each person’s perspective is shaped by their personal experiences, emotions, and beliefs, which means they reveal more about themselves than the work itself when sharing their thoughts.
Me and Listening 🦻
Many years ago, as part of internal assessment I have been rated 3/5 on listening skills, its a feedback, which I took with a shock. Till that point I was under impression that I know what “Listening” means, however, nodding my head, paraphrasing what some one just told me, mirroring body language is not what actual ‘Listening’ means. It means “I’m trying to listening, and proving he same”. This is not the intent. Intent is to know the other party better. This is how I started on journey of knowing me better before I learn to know other better. In this process I came across many deep understanding on this subject.
By listening with the intent to understand the person, rather than just evaluating their critique, we open ourselves up to a deeper connection and insight into different viewpoints. This approach not only enriches our own understanding but can also foster a more supportive and collaborative environment. It encourages constructive dialogue and promotes artistic growth, as individuals feel valued and heard. Ultimately, recognizing that everyone perceives the world uniquely allows for a more inclusive and reflective creative process.
Feedback and Listening … 👂
You can’t step into the same stream twice because it’s always moving. Everything is changing.
After finishing a project or activity, it’s helpful to get feedback from others. This can give us valuable insights and help us improve. For example, a 360-degree feedback after one year in a job is a good way to check how we’re doing and can make our journey more successful. The key is how we handle that feedback. The goal isn’t just to get comments or opinions from others. This is your work, and your feelings about it matter most. The aim is for you to see your work in a new light. Sometimes, a comment will really connect with you and reveal areas for growth. Other times, a negative remark may upset you, leading to a defensive reaction or doubt in your work. In such cases, it’s helpful to take a break, clear your mind, and come back with a fresh perspective. Criticism lets us look at our work from a different angle. We can choose to agree or stick to our original ideas.
How to listen thou self? 💁
Look around you: there are so many remarkable accomplishments to appreciate. Each of these is humanity being true to itself, as a hummingbird is true to itself by building a nest, a mango trees by bearing fruit, and a nimbus cloud by producing rain. We look for something new, and we find the newness. The effort for ‘look for something new’ itself brings the mind to ‘listening’ mode. When we intently look for something new, we hear better, we see better, we not only see the obvious, but we also see the reason behind the obvious. The fruit bearing tree is not there on his own, some one, some how planted it for some reason, and now the fruits are for us to enjoy! It’s a true rabbit hole to go into!
This is how we listen to self, In process improve the listening skill. The gift of awareness allows us to notice what’s going on around and inside ourselves in the present moment. And to do so without attachment or involvement. We may observe bodily sensations, passing thoughts and feelings, sounds or visual cues, smells and tastes. And this is the moment where we are really actively listening to the person.
Fall in love with the person. ❤️
To listen to someone effectively, you need to fall in love with him/her! 💕 Really!
While reading the book “Unsold Mindset,” I discovered an interesting idea about connections. It’s not just about romantic love; it’s about the meaningful friendships that arise from truly caring about someone. We’ve all felt that spark when talking to a stranger—maybe while sitting next to them on a flight or in line at the store. These moments can feel almost magical, especially when the person inspires us. As we share more of these small connections with others, whether they are clients or casual acquaintances, our trust and interest in them grow, leading to deeper understanding and compassion. Such perspective brings the mindset of making the conversation more effective and actionable more impactful
Summary 🔖
Listening is an ongoing process. I never came across someone yet, who has really ‘listens to me’ to my expectations , this could be due to my high expectations and confusion with ‘Thought reading’ expectations.
Nevertheless, I came across many successful leaders, who has shown admiringly well Listening Skills, and which shows very positive and high co-relation of listening skills with a successful leader. Leaders with these skills has not only impacted their own life by climbing the ladder of success , but also impacted the community at large, making difference to their lives and creating the lasting impact.
I’ll keep exploring the topic, and keep learning to be better at skill, and my wife will be the litmus test, nevertheless, its encouraging to be part of this journey!
